Fear of rejection: 8 tips for more self-confidence

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Fear of rejection: 8 tips for more self-confidence

The fear of being rejected by other people is a very unpleasant feeling that can have a massive impact on your well-being and lifestyle. But why are you so afraid of rejection in the first place and how can you overcome it? You can find out this and more below.

What is fear of rejection and how does it affect you?

Everyone longs for Acceptancelove and recognition. This is evolutionary. The fear of rejection goes hand in hand with the fear of being ostracized and alone. calm which in the early days of mankind would have meant the certain death of the individual.

Even if the latter is not the case in modern Time of course no longer applies, the fear of rejection - and therefore of exclusion from the group - is deeply rooted in us humans. However, being shunned, excluded or even antagonized by other people does not only trigger Fears but also impairs self-esteem.

Even if the fear of rejection can be explained conclusively from an evolutionary point of view, it can be harmful to you. Especially if the Fear affects the way you lead your life. In this case, for example, you don't dare to express your opinion or realize your personal plans because you don't want other people to think badly of you.

Understanding the origins of your fear of rejection

As already mentioned, the fear of rejection is largely evolutionary. Basic trust, which is formed in the first year of a person's life, also plays a major role.

However, if parents do not take their infant's needs seriously or even deliberately ignore them, the foundations are laid for later fear of rejection, which can even be triggered by Studies is documented. Instead of basic trust, a Mistrust.

In adulthood, these people unconsciously try to conform excessively in order to be accepted by other people. In doing so, they often disregard their personal boundaries. The conclusion is simple: anyone who has already experienced as an infant that their own Needs and you have to function in order to be liked, you won't be able to stand up for yourself later on.

How does fear of rejection manifest itself in everyday life?

Fear of rejection can manifest itself in different ways in everyday life. Very often, those affected are afraid to express their personal opinion or voice justified criticism. Those who suffer from fear of rejection are also afraid to defend themselves against personal attacks. Crossing boundaries is often accepted in order to avoid attracting negative attention.

In extreme cases, those affected limit their social interactions more and more, restricting them to the bare essentials or even avoiding them completely at some point. It seems paradoxical: on the one hand, those affected long for human closeness, but literally hide themselves away to avoid being rejected.

fear of rejection trauma

5 strategies for dealing with the fear of rejection

The good news is: fear of rejection can be actively combated. The following 5 strategies can help you do this:

1. self-care

Self-care is the key to overcoming your fear of rejection. Be aware of your own worth and treat yourself accordingly. After all, why should others valueif you can't even do it yourself? Consciously take time for yourself and for the things that bring you joy and that are important to you.

2. relativize importance

Is it really so important that the letter carrier and the baker's wife like you? Are strangers valuethat you are undermining your own value? Most probably not. Realize that not everyone can like you, just like you don't like everyone - and that's perfectly fine.

3. mind games

What's the worst that could happen if you actually experience rejection? Imagine the worst-case scenario. No question, being rejected feels unpleasant. But would it really have serious consequences? Would your existence be threatened? Probably not.

4. self-conquest

As the saying goes: the first step is the hardest, after that everything gets easier. This also applies to the issue of fear of rejection. Give yourself a jolt and speak your mind at the next opportunity without worrying too much in advance. You'll see: Once you've done it once, you can do it again and again.

5. celebrate small successes

Overcoming the fear of rejection is a difficult process that requires courage. So be proud of your small successes: have you managed to say no or disagree? That's wonderful! Don't relativize your successes by telling yourself that it wouldn't have been a big deal for other people.

Why is rejection not actually as bad as you think?

Have you ever wondered what would happen if someone rejected you? Alternatively, you can look back on past experiences of rejection: Even if it felt painful, serious consequences certainly didn't occur. To put it simply: rejection isn't actually as bad as you fear.

Also realize that rejection is part of life. As already explained, not everyone can like you. Everyone experiences rejection sooner or later in the course of their life.

The role of self-acceptance in overcoming the fear of rejection

If external recognition is very important to you, it may well be that you suffer from low self-esteem. Those who do not accept is constantly dependent on the confirmation of other people. If this is not forthcoming, it confirms your own conviction that you are not worth much. As a result, the fear of rejection increases immensely.

To break out of this vicious circle, you should work on your self-acceptance. The less you rely on other people for validation, the less fear of rejection you will have. You can find valuable tips on how to achieve this here.

8 steps to overcome your fear of rejection

Step 1: Reality check

As this is the most important step, we will never tire of repeating it: Check with your rational mind to see if rejection would actually be that bad. Sure, the experience could be painful. But your existence is certainly not threatened.

Step 2: Don't assume a rejection straight away

If you already assume that you will be rejected in a certain situation or by a certain person, there is a good chance that you will be right. Negativity attracts negativity: This old Wisdom is quite true. However, the reverse is also true.

Step 3: Nothing ventured, nothing gained

Dare to overcome your fear of rejection. Imagine the positive impact it will have on your life and your self-esteem when you finally stand up for yourself and express your opinion. Maybe you'll finally be taken seriously or get that promotion you've been waiting for so long.

Step 4: At the end of life

Take a long look into the future: either you lived your life according to your ideas, but were rejected by some people, or you gave up your dreams because you wanted to please everyone. What would you regret more on your deathbed?

Step 5: Focus on the good

Why are you so afraid of rejection when there are already many people in your life who love and support you? Realize which people really matter to you. Whether the rest will reject you indifferent be

Step 6: Confident appearance

Sometimes it is a long road to self-acceptance. Imagine you were already a self-confident person: how would you move, how would you express yourself? You can also use a real-life role model as a guide.

Step 7: Illuminate your relationships

Is your fear of rejection particularly evident when you are in contact with certain people? Then you should Relationship with these people. Do you really want to be with people who are going to do that to you? Feeling that you are inferior?

Step 8: Rejection is part of life

Remind yourself that everyone experiences rejection sometimes. It can help to make a mental list of the people you reject. Do you think these people feel worse because of this? Surely not. Then why should you feel worse?

fear of rejection symptoms

How can coaching help you overcome your fear of rejection?

If the fear of rejection is deeply rooted, it sometimes takes an external impulse to break it down. A professional Coaching can be a valuable Be supportive. Together with your coach, you will work through blockages and negative Beliefs that diminish your self-esteem. You then correct these beliefs and replace them with positive affirmations.

Link between personal development and overcoming fear of rejection

The more established and mature your personality, the less fear of rejection you will have. The Personality Development is a lifelong process. It is therefore never too late to work on yourself. The first The first step is self-awarenessfollowed by self-acceptance. The final step is actively controlled self-change.

Let's assume that you have recognized that your fear of rejection is limiting you. At first you accept this weakness - without acceptance there is no change - and at some point you consciously decide to face your fear. By having the positive experience that nothing bad will happen if you stand up for yourself, you will gradually reduce your fear of rejection.

Your path to freedom from the fear of rejection

You probably know that your fear of rejection can get in the way of you achieving your life goals. But do you even know what your life goals are? If you can't put your finger on it, our Visionchallenge workbook just right for you!

With the help of three simple exercises, we will help you to recognize your true goals and motivations: What really drives you? You will also learn how you can focus your energy in a meaningful way in order to achieve these goals. Achieving goals.


A guide for your future
- Find your true vision

Do you know what really drives you at the core? With just three simple exercises, you will be able to visualize your energy, identify your desires, and define your biggest goal!



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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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