There it is again, this stabbing pain that drives through your body like an ice-cold lightning bolt. Suddenly, the horrible feeling of emptiness spreads through you. Your hands begin to tremble and you feel abandoned and completely helpless. Yet nothing has actually happened, apart from the fact that you have just been abandoned. But not in the sense of Separation - You just couldn't cope with the departure of a person close to you. Now your emotions are going crazy. And although your head knows that you are completely overreacting, your fear of loss has you firmly in its grip once again.
We all know the fear of partings and the loss of loved ones, situations or things. Some are very afraid of losing their partner or best friend. Another fears for his job or his social status. To some extent, this is perfectly natural. But sometimes fears of loss get so out of hand that they virtually numb us. We lose sight of reality, suffer terribly and build a protective wall around ourselves. Where the fear of parting comes from, how you can recognize it and how you can overcome it, you will learn in this magazine article.
Newborns who have just come into the world cannot survive on their own. They are one hundred percent dependent on the love and affection of their parents. Without this, they would die within a short time. This creates an enormous dependence.
Robert Betz explains in this context: "In our childhood, we are physically, emotionally, mentally and financially dependent. It's a time of powerlessness that shapes many people well beyond childhood and into adulthood.“
So our existence would be severely threatened if we lost our parents. This time in our lives shapes us so much that even as adults we sometimes perceive losses as existentially threatening.
For some of us, traumatic experiences and terrible experiences come along over the years. When parents separate or important attachment figures die, this can result in our fear of loss becoming more pronounced than average.
If you have ever been unexpectedly abandoned by a partner and the separation has pulled the rug out from under you, this can also leave lasting emotional wounds and lead to permanent feelings of loss and pain. Attachment Anxiety that was set.
The reasons why fear of loss arises can be manifold. In the following, we would like to introduce you to the 12 most common reasons, so that you have a fixed point to which you can orient yourself.
In which of the above points did you recognise yourself? Can you think of any other causes that could possibly be the reason for fear of loss?
The symptoms of loss anxiety can vary from person to person. However, there is always a clear intersection that clearly points to symptoms of loss anxiety. We would like to briefly introduce you to the most common symptoms in connection with fear of loss.
Fears of loss are not only extremely painful, but can negatively affect your entire life. They affect your self-worth, your self-image, your relationships, and possibly even your job and lifestyle. If you're very afraid of goodbyes, then you should definitely follow our 10 tips to overcome loss fears step by step:
The very first thing you should do is to think carefully about the situations in which you feel particularly anxious. If a pattern emerges, you can make a conscious effort to avoid these situations. Do you always have the feeling that it is a matter of life and death when you have a heated argument with your partner? Then tell him about it and, for example, bring up the subject of your Jealousy. This way he can react more understandingly and you won't get into the situation of being hit by the ice-cold, inner lightning again.
Of course, the trigger is not the same as the cause. Because the fear of loss must have arisen through some situation in your life. Determining this is a little more difficult. If in doubt, it is even advisable to seek the professional help of a coach or therapist. Work through your past and remind yourself again and again that the past is closed and that its experiences do not have to repeat themselves in the present and future.
If you always assume the worst case scenario, you are prepared for the pain that could possibly occur. But this preparation doesn't make the feeling any better in the end. On the contrary: If you think positive perhaps things would be quite different. Because then you would be more relaxed and would also transfer this to your environment. Therefore break through your negative thought patterns and instead internalize the following belief: "Everything will be all right.. And even if I do get disappointed or hurt, I'll still survive the situation."
"My partner left me because I'm not worth loving." This belief system is unfortunately widespread, but completely wrong. Some people believe they don't deserve loveBut the truth is that when someone leaves you, it can be for many reasons. And in any case, you are worthy of receiving love. Because you are unique and wonderful just the way you are. That's why this tip is extremely important: Strengthen your self-esteem. The stronger it is, the less often you will feel fear of loss.
Your self-image goes hand in hand with your self-esteem: How do you perceive yourself? What do you think about yourself? Do you think you are a strong person who is at peace with yourself despite your flaws? If not, you should definitely work on it. Because you are so much more than you think. You can achieve anything, experience anything, and start over again and again if you want to. You don't need another person or a certain status to be strong, successful and be happy. Happiness is within you. Once you have internalized this, you will achieve a positive self-image and shake off your fear of loss with ease.
Stress is a big companion of loss anxiety. The problem: The higher your stress level rises, the greater your fear of loss will be in the end. For this reason, it is immensely important that you reduce your stress level noticeably. You can do this, for example, through various methods such as meditation, autogenic training, Pilates, yoga or progressive muscle relaxation. The most important thing here is that you make appropriate methods a fixed part of your everyday life so that fear of loss cannot spread.
Hand on heart: How often have all the dramas you imagined while lying in bed brooding come to pass? In all likelihood, never. Counter question: How often have good things happened to you in your life that gave you a Smile painted in the face? Surely often enough! And these are exactly the things you should focus on. Because our positive experiences drive us forward, give us strength and courage to keep going.
It is immensely important that you don't eat your fear of loss inside yourself. And that's why you need people in your life with whom you can talk openly about everything that's on your mind. So if you have a person in your family or circle of friends that you think can help you, gather your courage and open up to that person. Often just letting things out can feel like a release.
On whom do you depend for your happiness? Is it your partner? Your friends? Work colleagues? Family members? The correct answer is: You make your happiness dependent on you! If you don't, you make yourself emotionally dependent and thus only cause yourself additional harm in the long run. For this reason, it is sometimes important to. Relations terminated, which simply cause you harm.
Fear of loss always has its origin. As you have already experienced, this usually lies in your childhood. It is important to find out which events are possibly the reason for your fear of loss. A little tip: Take a pen and paper and write down all the events that could possibly be the reason for your fear of loss.
More and more people are taking advantage of coaching. This is because coaching can leave clients with noticeable results. There are also numerous coaches on the market who explicitly deal with the topic of fear of loss. If you haven't done any coaching yet, we can only give a warm recommendation at this point.
Finally, we have prepared a great video for you by Marco Geers. In this video you will learn how you can Fears let go and at the same time strengthen your self-esteem in the long term.
In this article you have learned where fear of loss comes from, through which symptoms it manifests itself and what you can do about it.
The last point is especially important: You can do something about it! Meaning: If you are plagued by a fear of loss and you don't know what to do, then it is possible to find a solution.
To help you succeed, we've shared a total of 10 valuable tips in this post that will help you successfully manage your fear of loss.
